How I miss you today.. Especially I haven't thought about you for a long time.
When you were in love, did you put yourself out there and loved dad selflessly?
Realizing that the world is about to become meaningless because you were about to lose the one person who meant the world to you... is the scariest thought that ever came to me.
Not a day goes by that I don't think about what I've done.
It never made things easier for me even though I thought I did the right thing then.
Was it right? Was it wrong?
I don't know. I only know that I have just one more thing I need to correct.
Tonight, I put myself out there, over the border, beyond the realm of human touch... I always believe that truth sets you free. It does. It's just that it doesn't come with happiness guaranteed. What waits ahead is only an abyss of dark despair and writing this down won't change anything, it'll probably serve as a reminder for the future me of what a messed up person I've become.
The words sounded so awkward and they sounded so raw and off beat and half toned when I spoke them. They're like that because they're from the utmost vulnerable part of my heart.
Dearest Mom, I miss you.
Will you give me courage and faith to live on?
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